Sage advice on staying well this festive season
How will you be spending Christmas this year?
This year, like many families, we have decided to have a virtual Christmas. Normally, my husband and I like to travel at Christmas time so communicating with our loved ones virtually has been part of our Christmas experience for many years. We’ll be using every device we have set up in different rooms so we can communicate as we would if we were all in person and still enjoy doing all the things we would have done if we were together in person together like cooking Christmas dinner, watching movies and generally just enjoying each other’s company.
Why do you think Christmas is such a difficult time for so many people?
I feel this time of year is difficult for many people because there is such a strong focus on family and many feel a lot of pressure to spend time with their families or partake in traditions or obligations they wouldn’t normally want to do. It’s one of the reasons, we started our own tradition of travelling at Christmas!
Something I feel isn’t acknowledged enough is that, sadly, for many spending time with their biological families is not always the safest or ideal place for them. It might be that it brings up many difficult or painful memories especially if those experiences are charged by grief or trauma. I think of the many LGBTQ+ people who find spending time with their biological families, at this time year, exceedingly difficult especially if their sexuality or gender is not acknowledged or respected.
Some will be fortunate enough will be able to spend time with their chosen family. However, this is not always an option for some people, and they may have to choose between spending time with a family that can be emotionally triggering or spending Christmas alone.
What are your top tips to boost mental wellbeing this Christmas?
Self-care is so important at this time of year. Sometimes, you won’t have the choice to spend Christmas the way you want or with the people you want so make sure you take the time to do the things that top up your emotional energy. It’s the little things that help here like reading a book, watching a movie or having a hot chocolate in silence!
Acknowledge the family members you feel uncomfortable, or unsafe, around and try limit your time with them. Give yourself permission to protect yourself.
Connect with people who make you feel safe and who you enjoy spending time with on Christmas, even if it is only for a moment.
Don’t compare yourself to others. If you find, yourself becoming overwhelmed, avoid social media and live TV.
Make Christmas your day: do not let the pressures or society dictate how you should be spending this day. Tailor your own Christmas traditions!
Gavin is a qualified Person Centred Therapist holds a Post Graduate Diploma and Psychotherapy from Strathclyde University. His experience has focused, particularly, with working with people who identify as members of the LGBTQ+ community and people suffering from alcohol and drug dependency issues. Find out more here.